Top of My Head

I’m apologizing now if it seems that I am rambling or if there are any grammatical errors. Everything and anything that is in my head at the moment will be published….

I honestly don’t know where my life is headed at the moment. So many things – ideas, events to process and at times I feel so lost and desperate for direction. I know that things will be okay, there is no doubt about that – I just wish I had solutions right now for the problems and doubts in my mind. 6 days… in 6 days things will change (drastically?)…maybe I’m exaggerating. lol. In any case, in 6 days I will be moving out of this home and heading back to my parents. My significant other and I have split (took place last month) and he’ll be heading down to San Diego. It’s so crazy to think how much stuff can change in only one year. Last year at this time I was so in love and I felt like he and I could conquer the world. Now it’s as if we are different paths in totally different locations. Will we ever meet again? =/ Tough to say and as much as I still love him, I’m afraid it seems that the chapter is coming to a close. So many wonderful experiences with this great man and the good definitely outweighs the bad. What do you say to 4 years? The only cure for heartbreak is TIME. Time heals all wounds. He’s sitting behind me at the moment on his computer and I’m so tempted to hug him so tight and kiss his beautiful lips – tell him that I love him so much, but I digress and hang on to those feelings. I’m in such a vulnerable state and I hate the feeling. You got people that are friends with him ASKING ME OUT! The vultures start coming and it’s so disappointing – especially when it’s people that even you yourself trusted. So sad…

The whole situation has me distraught and I can’t really point out exactly how I feel. Am I sad? Mad? Hurt? Resentful? Maybe it’s all. I just hold out on the fact that maybe this is all for the best. Like they say, one door closes and another opens…or something like that. hahaha. I have amazing family and friends for support. 2010 was an interesting year and I’m looking forward to 2011. ❤ Time to let go and keep moving forward.

Peace.

-O.

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